The Need to Belong Can Blind You

Don’t let the desire make you ignore the prejudice against you

Photo by Will Myers on Unsplash

If you’re a woman, have you ever found yourself at the receiving end of prejudice/discrimination?

Many women will say no. But if you ask them: “Do you think women as a group are experiencing prejudice/discrimination?” then most of them will say “yes.”

If you think about it, that doesn’t make sense, especially when researchers have asked many women and the majority of them answered that way.

Objective measurements provide strong evidence that women are indeed being discriminated against, and yet not many women actually feel that way. Why the discrepancy?

There are many potential factors, but Drs. Mauricio Carvallo and Brett W. Pelham at New York University Buffalo examined one factor called Need to Belong in their experiments. I believe that this term is simple enough for everyone to know what it is, but to give a brief definition, it is defined as the desire for frequent, positive, and stable interactions with others; to be accepted by others.

So suppose Lucy is a happy young college student in New York. One day she goes to a so-called research project for her course credit. When she arrives at the psychology department, a young woman says: “So you’ll be…